“Anxiety is perhaps the most taxing and under-treated psychological effect of living with MS. It does not appear to result from the physical disease process of MS, but rather stems from the realities of living with MS.”
Above probably a very appropriate quote to explain issues with anxiety and Multiple Sclerosis, others may see and assume that the physical implications may be what leads to psychological difficulties, but anxiety; the nature of MS, what might happen tomorrow and the damage in the brain that leaves physiological effects ( neurotransmitter imbalance or damage to core parts of the brain) and the odd event that may have occured last week, all making things in many different weird ways; anxious.
The spectrum of anxiety
Whatever reason may result in the feeling of being anxious, panicking when things are absolutely fine. The spectrum of anxiety disorders includes panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD is more prevalent in MS, followed by panic disorder and OCD. As mentioned overlooked and difficult to detect, issues with anxiety can have a knock on effect to further complications in the mental health category.
Further possible psychological symptoms related to the anxiety include:
- Chronic unhappiness
- Frequent worry, guilt, or feeling out of control
- Indecisiveness
- Feelings of inadequacy, feeling criticized, or easily embarrassed
- Rigidity, which is to be inflexible and less willing to make changes
- Hostility, feeling anger toward others
- Repeating certain behaviors or ruminative thoughts (pondering over something repeatedly)
- Over-anticipating things
- Excessive concern with physical health
- Negative thinking about the future
- Racing thoughts
It starts off small.
After the onset of MS, diagnosis and extremely damaging relapses, there is a natural anxiety about the future, what may happen? Would I be able to do this, that or the other.
The social situations
Humans are social creatours, we remain in contact with others, we have emotional attachments to things and people, when there may be an issue affecting the ‘balance’ of such social things, there can be a reactive anxious response to the issues that are impacted in life.
Knowing of a person in my locality, who was a professional that was head of their respective department they had worked in. Even a decade after diagnosis, they never leave the house without their briefcase and professional attire because of the anxious fear of other people asking about his current affairs. This may seem something small but it has left them in a situation of disassociation with the closest of their friends and family and a further list of diagnoses of psychological conditions like mentioned above; OCD, PTSD, OCPD and the commonly mentioned two at extreme rates; anxiety and depression.
When it’s all a bit Deja Vu
Moments of Deja vu may lead to an anxious response, whether that’s what the bodily response was in the last similar setting, the concern and fear of it all happening again.
Will it ever be the same? Ever be normal?
Living with MS; the more invisable things due to the damage that can hardly be dealt with in any specific way, like the cognitive damage that occurs. Symptoms that may have occured once but an anxious mindset trying to understand whether it has caused damage to, if it’ll get worse and would it go away completely in the future?
The doubts beforehand
Being anxious before partaking in an activity can result in issues thinking appropriately, when the brain is working, the damage with MS can result in abnormal and ‘random’ results, like even moments of losing consciousness or sudden panick when absolutely nothing is happening, all due to the numerous avenues and possible causes for issues with anxiety.
As a small personal anecdote; over the past year, when I have been approached in an extremely harsh way by a family member or friend, due to something very small that they perhaps ‘ just couldn’t get off their back’. An over anxious response was the result of it. At the moment my mind went completely blank and I sat there staring blankly but seeing that person whilst going to my bed to get to sleep was enough to leave me tossing and turning till 4am in the morning because, when you are wanting to get to bed and the body is in overdrive trying to prepare you for survival, it would understandably be very difficult to fall asleep!
Panic attacks
MS can cause changes in sensations that trigger panic attacks. While MS isn’t technically causing the panic attacks directly, it’s creating an environment that makes them far more likely. This symptom can further be induced whilst on certain medications to treat symptoms of the condition. After my last cognitive lesion, I had huge problems relating to sleep, after being given medication to deal with insomnia, I remember waking up panicking at 3AM thinking that something had drastically happened, someone in the house has passed away.
Brain In Overdrive
The brain in overdrive can lead to these such things, something I had kept quiet about as I fear being accused or not ‘doing my night prayers’ so this occured. This was entirely due to the confusion and damage in the brain leading to these sudden unusual psychological responses.
That may be just one example of the physical repurcutions of the anxious response at the wrong moments in life but even similar situations can result in physical mishaps that may result to sudden falls or loss of balance and even a explosion of an innappropriate emotional response; laughing, crying and maybe even wailing when everyone else may be feeling in the exact opposite way.
Anxiety along with depression can be something that occur and have impacts together, but like mentioned earlier, any form of a psychologicl or mental response at the wrong moments or exaggerated in a positive or negative way can lead to difficulties doing even the simplest of things in life.
To summarise this symptom; it can arise due to clinical reasons ( damage and imbalance of NTs, but also reactive ( worried about certain settings) and a reactive response being exacerbateed due to the initial damage. All pretty much a huge recipe for disaster! Sometimes it may make sense why there is a feeling of anxiety and sometimes it simply doesn’t make sense!
It may seem like a ‘mind over matter’ issue but the mind being extremely compromised, it understandably explains why things are overlooked or responses being over reactions rather than calm and composed actions. Anxiety may be a confusing thing, but sometimes it is best to just be a shoulder to cry on, even when things don’t make much sense.
As we near closer to the end of a very ‘different’ year of 2020, the winter cold and humidity that may slow things down. We can only hope together and share positivity that there shall soon be some light at the end of the tunnel!
Till we meet again guys!
Me,myself and Multiple Sclerosis. 